


The Mission™

by pastelpetals



Category: NieR: Automata (Video Game)
Genre: 2B and 9S are young'uns, A2 slowly loses her sanity, Babysitting, Gen, Humor, Modern AU, OOC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-06-16 22:44:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15447471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastelpetals/pseuds/pastelpetals
Summary: A2 just wants to rest.In which the three of them go to a grocery store in pursuit of the Forbidden Fruit (and to run errands).





	The Mission™

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by: https://mobile.twitter.com/pullssack/status/848159346320068608

A2 could not believe she was roped into their little game of spies, but she was in even more disbelief that 2B had actually agreed to it. The younger girl was currently clinging to her neck, her eyes calmly assessing the crowd in the supermarket as she nibbled on her lollipop. Her other charge, 9S, was running through the aisles, a blindfold wrapped around his eyes. It was of no surprise to her that he bumped into many shelves and patrons, who were thankfully good-natured about the whole ordeal.

She reflected on her nickname — or rather, _designation_ , as 2B had informed her — and wondered how the term A2, of all things, came to be hers. 2B was named as such because the girl was ridiculously smart for her age and had developed an affinity for Shakespeare. 9S was derived from "Nines," which was what everyone called him because his mother liked to dress him "to the nines," or something to that effect.

A2 groaned and tightened her grip on 2B as she went to retrieve 9S from the cereal aisle. He was desperately reaching for his favorite brand of chocolate flakes, nearly in tears when A2 decided to grant him mercy and plopped the box in his hands. Beaming, he turned to her and dropped it in the shopping cart.

"You wanna sit, kiddo?" she asked him, cracking a small smile when he pulled his blindfold off and nodded enthusiastically. That brief flush of affection went out the window when he asked if 2B could join him. She didn't know why, but 2B could be particularly clingy with certain people, and fortunately for herself, she was one of them. And if 2B didn't want to do something, then chances were 9S wouldn't do it either. Still, praying to the heavens for a reprieve, she adopted a gentler tone with the young girl when she asked, "Hey, 2B, sitting with 9S looks like fun, yeah?"

As expected, 2B silently declined and leaned her head against A2's cheek, still working on her lollipop. While the latter was trying to blow alabaster locks from her mouth, 9S declared, "I wanna be carried, too! I wanna be next to 2B!"

 _If you love her so much, then marry her already_ , A2 grumbled mentally, but she honestly would not be surprised if this childish crush were to blossom into something more wholesome as they matured. That day couldn't come soon enough, A2 decided. Aloud, she mused, "Oh, yeah? Then how will I push the cart? I need both my hands, you know."

Smirking as if he knew the answer all along, 9S inhaled deeply and shouted for a pod, causing 2B to nearly strangle her neck in surprise. A2 felt sweat beading on her forehead as nearly the entire store turned into their direction. Two pods came drifting not a moment later and introduced themselves as Pod 153 and Pod 042. Management must have taken pity on her.

"We will be assisting you in your shopping needs today," Pod 153 whirred.

They informed the trio that they would be more than happy to gather the needed items from their shopping list while they waited near the front. A2, usually self-reliant, felt a pang if indignation, but with two toddlers in tow, she had no choice but to relent, if not for her own sanity. Hefting the two children in her arms, she nodded a quick thanks and made her way to the eatery, where store-made deserts and prepackaged foodstuffs were sold.

As she dropped into a random seat, 2B finally relinquishing her hold to slide into the booth next to 9S, she breathed her first sigh of relief. Five seconds of sweet, blissful silence passed before: "New mission, A2! Your job is to get us some popsicles!"

A2 eyed them blearily before shutting them in response. "Can I pass on this one?" she muttered.

For however much A2 was unamused, 9S was undeterred. "It's straight from command, you can't ignore it!"

"Also, it's quite hot," 2B added nonchalantly. To prove her point, she held up her lollipop, which had begun to melt onto her hands.

"Good lord," A2 groused as she pulled out wet wipes from her purse. "My arms are still sore from carrying you lot around. Can't I catch a break?"

"Sleep is for the weak!" 9S pumped his fist, prompting an eyeroll from A2 as she cleaned 2B's hands.

"What about all those afternoon naps?" she questioned dryly.

"I'm not sleeping! I'm recharging, duh," 9S said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Don't make me make 2B explain!"

“Right,” she muttered, feeling a pounding migraine coming on. “Still, no dice on the ice cream. Last I checked, the freezer at your place is chock-full of cream puffs. You guys can have some of that.”

“Awww, but A2, cream puffs aren’t popsicles!” 9S pouted. “And I know 2B hates that stuff!” True to his statement, 2B’s neutral expression had hardened to that of disapproval. A2 pinched the bridge of her nose and exhaled slowly.

“Right, ever the picky one, I see,” she muttered to herself. Pulling out her — admittedly _light_ — wallet, she forcibly reminded herself of the babysitting bonus awaiting her at the end of the day. After all, looking after two of the neighborhood’s most notoriously inseparable mischief-makers at the same time while running errands for their parents could drive even the most saintly person up a wall. “You guys want the fruity flavors, yeah? What’ll it be?”

“Macker—!”

“For the last time, 9S, mackerel is not a fruit.”

“But it can be! With enough imagination!”

A2 stifled a snort. “Would you like to ‘imagine’ two mackerel popsicles for yourselves then?”

“...Meanie.”

“Two Forbidden Fruits, please,” 2B interjected politely, tugging on the hem of A2’s shirt. A2 nearly choked on air as she gave the young girl an incredulous look in return.

“I’m sorry, the _what?”_ she spluttered. Her face adopted a shade that was nearly that of her hair.

“It’s what they call the sour apple popsicles here,” 2B supplied matter-of-factly. “It’s Nines’ favorite flavor.” As if to prove her point, 9S seemed to perk up at the mere mention of the incredibly dubious name. At the very least, his severe pout had lessened to pressed lips, although he still refused to face A2.

Squeezing her eyes shut, she nodded once, firmly, and mouthed “okay.” She was not going to ask questions. She was not going to demand to see the manager. She was not going to interrogate them about their blatant violation of the “family-catered shopping experience” they touted on the front of their awning.

“Why does it sound like a cheesy porno,” she muttered under her breath. The snort she had suppressed earlier retuned full force, dissolving into quiet cackling like it was the best joke she had ever heard. It was official, she thought wryly — her mind was lost to her, finally ascended to a higher plane of existence.

2B and (eventually) 9S stared at her, half-confused and half-concerned, their caretaker’s strange humor beyond their understanding. Finished with her bout, A2 shook her head and gestured for the two to stay put as she marched over to the desert counter. Upon her return, they swarmed her eagerly and immediately set to work on their refreshing sweets. 9S even offered to split an ice with her as a sign of his forgiveness, and who could ever refuse such a gracious pardon?

Around the time they finished their treats (2B was a particularly slow eater), Pod 153 and Pod 042 greeted them with their bagged grocery before dutifully following the trio to their car. After everything was loaded into the trunk, the children were buckled in, and the pods had thanked them for their patronage and to come again, A2 warmed up the engine, grateful the whole ordeal was over. That was, until 9S uttered words she had dared hope she would never hear.

“So when’re we coming back?”

 _Never_ , her mind screamed. Outwardly, she hummed and thoughtfully responded, “I guess the next time both of your mothers need me to pick up stuff from the store. Or your dads are too busy to do it themselves.”

“We should do this more often!” 9S beamed, his grin disarming. 2B nodded in agreement, reaching over to grasp his hand in support.

A2 chuckled wearily. “We’ll see,” she humored them.

“It wouldn’t be the same if it’s not you,” 2B stated in that calm manner of hers. “You’re our best unit.”

“Yeah, A2! You’re the coolest! It _has_ to be you! Ooh, 2B! What should the next mission be? Maybe we should get some Mentos and Coke. 11S told me something cool happens when you combine them...”

As the two of them schemed, A2 groaned and laid her forehead against the steering wheel. She allowed herself a little smile then, despite her exhaustion. A fond but exasperated sigh escaped her.

“No explosions, you guys.”

“It explodes?!”

A2 could not contain her laughter as they began their drive home.

 

**Author's Note:**

> a/n: are they ooc? most definitely. am I sorry? not one bit.
> 
> It’s been a while since I’ve written anything for Nier! This is more laidback than my usual stuff which was a nice change! The ending is a bit rushed, but I really just wanted to finish this piece and post it, haha.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading!!


End file.
